Blog to see you, to see you blog!
Well, goodness me, it has been a long time since I updated my blog! Perhaps I have not been drinking enough alcohol? Or, even more likely, perhaps I am just too lazy/inarticulate to be able to maintain a remotely credibile dialogue with anyone from the general public?
Both of these sound like plausible explanations to me so, to mend my ways, I'm partaking of draughts from a bottle of scotch and I have with me seval or Winchester's finest transients here to, as we say, chew the (lack of) fat. They'll be on their way soon enough I'll wager - the soup kitchen opens in a half hour.
Plus I have Fleetwood Mac "Tango In The Night" on repeat play, just to get me in the mood. The mood for what? Let's just wait and see shall we?
So much has happened in the last few weeks/months/dharmas that I can't really put it all into words so, needless to say, I won't bother, but where I to describe it all in a single facial expression it would look something like this:
"wwaaargggghhhhhuuuurrreeeeffffffffffhhhhhhhhaaaaaalllllllllllllttttttttooouuuuyyyyy?!"
If you read that then the movements your lips did were like my last few months but in slow motion!!!!!!
I've written a few more short stories. Most of them are bad, although some are very bad. The poetry, however, stays in my bedside cabinet draw, right next to those painfully unused condoms and the family soap.
yet have no fear - I plan to write another short story tonight, provided this glass of G&T holds out for the duration.

Yesterday I took the day off work. This suited me fine as the night before I worked until 10pm. Call it some sort of feeling of duty (or stupidity), but I think I did my bit.

So I was well chuffed that I booked yesterday and today off. I got the train up to Surbiton to meet my brother nice and early. We spent a bit of time pouring my coppers into a machine that counts them - £25. Then we had pizza and went into town. We walked from Vauxhall to Millbank and through to Westminster (Red Lion pub, as per Brown's press secretary apparantly) before on to the West End, some book stores in Bloomsbury, the UCL union and then a Thai buffet. However, the real reason that we were there was to see Armando Ianucci's "Charm Offensive" in which I was charming and Chris was offensive. We had a propper laugh man, and the show was sooooooo funny. David Mitchell was on the pannel and he was as funny as you care to desire my lord. Yes, he is a funny geezer!!!!!! I concurr. Beyond reasonable doubt, therefore. Just taste how delighted I was that, therefore, I found, when researching, that he has given interviews in THE WESSEX SCENE and various other publications, all of which were most illuminating when I burnt them (to provide light and warmth to the entire community).
Then a quick pint after, train home, a beer infront of telly and then bed to read all about me hero - Ali Barbar (Campbell).
Yey!!!!!!
Take it easy Internetium!
Oh yeah, and I spent a lot of money, but I won £15 on the Derby, and Chris and I cashed in £500 in coppers for my mum (serious man - I used to use her money bags to do weights).

Morning. Had a few beers last night - thought I'd have them before the budget made it prohibitively expensive etc. Luckily, I sold all my controling interests in the oil industry (on a whim) before hand anyway, so I'm all right mate.

Gulp.
More money spent. Went to Harrods for the day. Loved it, absolutely loved it. That shop is full of some of the most tacky rubbish you will ever see, and then suddenly you see something awesome. We had loads of fun in the piano room which has led me now to seriously think about buying a decent synth. Dare I even contemplate it? We're talking a mean £300-£500 for anything remotely decent.
I love looking round at curiosities. I think my favourite place in the world is Pound Land in Maidstone.
I got a book on script writing and me and Chris got some somosas from the food hall - on the egg counter you can even see the chickens wandering around the barn on a webcam! http://www.clarencecourt.co.uk/HenCam/
Then we had 2 pints in Wimbledon's "Berty's Wine Bar" (=£5) and a Cornish Pasty (£2).
Then we went to the Cap In Hand for Craig's birthday and that cost me about £15.
Sunday: a video (Dogville) and some beer and a lovely dinner and then home.
Been thinking about how much I loved that Lemon Jelly gig on Friday - really was something.
GT4 is really hard - much harder than GT3, and I'm rubbish at it.

No time like the present to get started I guess.
My current intention is to update once a week, or maybe a few times a month: the upkeep of last year’s blog was a little bit too much - a bit like one of my periodic fitness outbursts, when I start drinking green tea and eat nothing but olives, I couldn’t be bothered to keep it up for very long, which is probably for the best as most people couldn’t be bothered to read for very long either. This time, instead, I’ll keep it short, to the point, and very infrequent, rather like my sex life (that’s hardly a surprise for someone who keeps a blog is it?).
As they say in the Americas “Money Talks”, so let’s allow it to do just that…
Left work early, £20 for a train ticket to London. I grabbed a sandwich on the train too. £5 travel card. Tube to Brixton where we met my Catherine for a drink (round=£7). Tickets for Lemon Jelly cost £20 – really enjoyed it. They played The Staunton Lick at the end and Rambling Man was wicked. Everyone joined in singing “All The Ducks…” etc, and the lights were really spectacular, especially on Spacewalk. Very good. Tube back to Morden when we drove to Tescos in New Malden (24hr store) to buy pizzas for a midnight snack: the toppings were so high it was more like a cylinder than a disc: £2 each. Rang LBC with a pathetic Michael Winner impression to try and talk to Iain Lee (they didn’t let me on: no surprises there).
Also got Yes Minister DVD, Red Dwarf DVD, Best Of Talking Heads CD, Java GUI book, Gran Turrismo 4 and a kitchen steamer – total cost well in excess of £100.
Off to see a computer company’s exhibition at the science museum (free entry) and maybe meet Ben for a drink: total cost probably around £20.

A Motivational Speech...

A move from http://tpemckiernan.blogspot.com "Pies/ And A Cathedral", a document of my many and outrageous gluttonous misdemeanours over the course of last year, is to be replaced this year by a document of my many and outrageous fiduciary felonies in this brand spanking new blog "Money Talks...but blogshite walks".
How very clever.